Today is a Good Day to have a Good Day

Not every day can be good.  Of course it is not possible to have a good day every day.  In fact, without bad days how do we even know what is a good day?  Let’s look at the opposite phrase “Today is a bad day to have a bad day”. It is still the exact same. Let’s now look at the other two options.  “Today is a good day to have a bad day” and “Today is a bad day to have a good day”. Again they do not exactly seem better options.  I think it is trying to say something along the lines of “make the most of the day”, which is not very inspiring so I will quote Robin Williams as John Keetings in Dead Poets Society “Carpe diem, seize the day. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may. John Keating : I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself”. 

So from the Roman poet Horace’s Odes, who wrote over 2,000 years ago “Carpe diem” to a plague my son gave me for my office, that said “It’s a good day to have a good day”, we are all trying to make the best of life.  I think this is uniquely human, as nature is not at all interested in what Maslow called “self actualization”. Nature sets the bar at survival, it is not so interested in contentment, it is the frontal cortex that allows the brain to move past survival.  

The frontal cortex is where the brain thinks and it is the part of the brain that we need to use to make today a good day.  How do we know that we are using that part of the brain? In short it is the thinking part of the brain, so to use that part of the brain, we need to “force” ourselves to use it.   This is because of the amount of effort it takes to use this part of the brain compared to that part of the brain that always runs in the background.   

The Amygdala, is the part of the brain that is always running, it’s the part of the brain that makes you pull your hand away when you are going to burn yourself and it is where the fight or flight reaction operates.   You definitely want this running all the time, but it’s not the part of the brain you want to process the pros and cons of a situation, in fact it is simply not capable. Decisions happen in the frontal cortex.  Reactions happen in the amygdala. 

We know we are using this part of the brain if we can argue pros and cons and see something from more than one way.  One of the techniques I have used with people and they report it works well for them is to hold the conversation with yourself and speak out loud as you present the agreement.  Many people have told me that this has helped them deal with a craving to drink. They hold the conversation and then accept that it’s unlikely to end well if they act on their craving.  

Likewise, how do you start trying to make today a good day?  Start building the case, it may be a day that you know is going to be hard, you may have an exam, or a difficult meeting at work.  The idea here is not to say the difficult situations are not going to happen, or that they are going to be pleasant situations, in fact pretending that they are going to be good or be in denial about the difficulty is as big a problem as letting it overwhelm you.  The way to make today a good day is to say, I am going to go into the exam or meeting and work at doing my best. I will remind myself to stay calm and remember any of the prep work I have done in preparation.  

Today is a good day to have a good day is about doing your best in the given circumstance.  If you have an exam and have done no prep for it, no positive thinking or belief that it is going to make it go well.  That exam is likely to turn out badly. How you manage that is going to determine how much you can make today a good day.