Happy Healthy Counselling, supporting change
I had a friend who used to use the analogy that if you stack paper in a room from floor to ceiling and then take off the top page, that is how long humans have been on this earth. If you are trying to make sense of the world from the big picture, I think you are going about it the wrong way.
To make sense of the world and everything in it and in the universe over time, I think you have more chance to understand a movie from seeing one pixel. I think the only way anyone can make sense of their world and why they are here, is by looking at the small things that give them purpose in life.
I often find people do not know how to answer the question, what gives you purpose and meaning in life and this is generally this question is asked with the expectation that you are going to answer from the big picture perspective. And yet if we look for our meaning of our world by the small little things we do, we are more likely to be able to answer the big question.
My wife used to do the laundry for my two kids and helped them out when they went to university. When she became very sick before she died, I took over this work. I started to also fold their laundry, as prior to that my wife had said that they can do that last part. Although I did not enjoy folding their laundry, I did feel it was something I could do and was important to me. It was pointed out to me that this may be my purpose in life. It was very important for me to be the best dad I could be and to support my kids the best way I could.
I know that most people I work with have not spent much time addressing the meaning of life and no one has tried to make sense of the world, by looking at what small changes they can make. To assist them I first ask them what makes them happy? This is intended to see what they think about happiness and if it is even something that they aspire to feel.
The next question is more to get them to start thinking about how they can find purpose in life. “What makes you want to get out of bed? Not why do you get out of bed, but what are the things that you look forward to doing, or that you feel you have a responsibility that you want to do?
This is what is important to the person. It is often underpinned by their ethics, be it about their family or the work they do, but it is about the very identity of the individual. Exploring your core values is very helpful as it helps to decide what to do, when there is no clear answer or solution. It also assists work on liking yourself. If you make decisions based on your core values or your personal ethics, you can always feel better about the decision you have made, even when that is a hard or difficult choice.
I think people want to do good, to be a good person (however one defines that) and by doing good, you have defined your purpose in life, or the meaning of your life. And your life is the collection of those decisions and actions and most people would like to think they leave this world a little better because they contributed more good than poor actions.
